A few weeks ago I shared what felt like the scariest blog post I’d ever written. I shared about the story of our recent miscarriage and how Jonny and I are a part of the 25% of parents who experience pregnancy loss.
Prior to sharing that blog I sat on it for about 2 weeks.
I was terrified to share it.
I had all of these stories going through my head around why I couldn’t share it and how it was too raw, or too vulnerable.
I was afraid about what would people think and if what I was sharing was too much.
While I was talking with some close friends around whether to share our story publicly or not, I said to them:
“I’m aware that because I have so much fear and resistance around this that I know that I need to share it. I know that there is something huge for me on the other side of this if I give myself permission to share our story.”
My friends reminded me that through sharing I was serving others, and I was creating an opening for others to talk about their experience with pregnancy loss, as it is something rarely spoken about.
So the next day I mustered up all the courage I could and pressed publish on this blog post. And I’m so glad that I did.
Within the next few days, there were over 250+ comments between Facebook and Instagram of other moms and dads saying, “Me too”.
I had women I haven’t spoken to since high school share stories with me they had never even told their families.
I had women entrust me with letters they had written to their baby who died.
I had one woman post that because of this blog she was able to realize she had never grieved the loss of her miscarriage that happened 16 years ago, and by reading my blog she had finally allowed herself to grieve.
It. Was. Incredible.
My heart was so touched by their vulnerability and courage to share and trust me with their stories that I broke down in tears one night while reading through all of their comments and messages.
Through sharing our story, I felt a healing occur within me. And I saw a healing occur with others as well.
I was reminded how important it can be to share our stories as a way to connect and heal.
And I was reminded of a lesson I always share with my clients: “Resistance will always show us the thing that we need to do most.”
I was so resistant around sharing my story, but I see now how important it was for me to share. Because through sharing, it allowed for others to connect deeply to their truth and for me to be a voice for pregnancy loss.
So with this, I encourage you – is there something that you have been wanting to do or share that you’ve felt resistance around? If so, think about the question “If I were to share this, is it possible that it could help serve others who have experienced the same thing?”
If the answer is yes, then you may want to consider pushing past the fear and resistance in service to sharing and supporting yourself and others in your truth.
While opening up to the path of being a truth-teller, here are 3 things I have learned that make it a little bit easier to tell my stories.
1. It is not necessary to share your story right in the rawness of the moment. It is actually better if you wait a bit until you are on the other side. Our miscarriage happened many weeks before I felt I was ok enough to share it publicly. I needed time to heal and remove how raw it felt before I shared my story. Taking this time also gave me much more space for reflection than I would have had if I tried sharing closer to the miscarriage.
2. Be careful about sharing your story from a perspective of “proving worth” vs “providing value”. This one can be tricky. But essentially if you are sharing your story for people to see how great you are, how brave you are, or how much you want them to feel sympathy/feel bad for you, then you are in the energy of “proving worth.” Instead, I encourage you to think about how your story will provide value to others. Ask yourself “By sharing this, will it at least serve one person? Am I writing this to serve or am I writing this to prove something to someone?” If you are writing to serve, then you are on track! If you are writing because you are trying to prove something, then rethink your strategy and focus more on writing from your heart rather than your head/ego.
3. Write to just one person – not to the masses. This was a tip that I received many years ago that has helped me so much over the years. If you are getting ready to write a blog, social media post, email, etc. and you are thinking that you need to try and write it to ALL OF THE INTERNET it puts so much pressure on you and makes it so hard to write authentically. Instead, pretend that you are just writing to one specific person. Who is someone that you want to share your story with? Write to them and everything will flow much easier than if you are pressuring yourself to get it perfect for the public. Focus on serving one person and, in that, you will serve many.
So with this, if there is something that has been on your heart you’ve been wanting to share with others to help serve them – I so encourage you to move through your fear and resistance and do it.
Remember that your voice is powerful and that our world needs more connection and truth-tellers in it.
And if you are scared to share it publicly, feel free to send it to me first! I would love to read your stories, give you feedback, and support you to wield your courage to share big!
You’ve got this. The world needs your voice. Your truth is powerful.
Love,
Elsie